The Fried Egg Cup Results Page

The season Finale summary before the 1st round at Elements 2023:

So, all you miserable FECers…

I realise many have spent the last week feeling a lot like Will Levis (Google him), dressed like a knob in a tuxedo, eagerly awaiting the announcement that will change your life forever. As time passed, dejection began to set in and the look on your tarted up girlfriend’s face changed from “yes, cameras, lap up my beauty in this stunning red dress” to “the fact that I’m still holding this pathetic fucker’s hand on national TV is constant me millions of Insta followers”.

Anyway, here we are on day 2 and you finally get what you’ve been waiting for (draft pick 33).

The league stage of FEC 23 is done and dusted, with the scores tallied and the leaderboard set for tomorrow’s shootout.

Thanks to (almost) everyone for making my job easy by submitting your scores on this group. Of course, there are always a couple (Damian and Ross) who made me trawl HNA to dig up scores from exclusive private courses.

These okes are like your mates from school who, while everyone else is talking about what a jol Balito Rage is going to be, say “sorry boys, we can’t make it. Dad says we have to help out at the shop”, only to fuck off skiing in Europe. And you only find out when you notice to them in the background of a tabloid shot of Leonardo DiCapro groping a 17 year old in a St Moritz nightclub.

April started with what appeared, at first glance, to be the lamest April Fool’s story since the one about Eskom asking for you old braai briquettes. Estian posted that LJ had shot a 41 pointer at KCC - as if! A slice of humble pie or two (and an HNA stalk) later an I was confronted with the tragic reality that only Berry and I were left in the 30 point club, which felt a bit like going to a swingers party and realising the only other set of car keys in the bowl belong to Harvey Weinstein.

Clearly I was desperate for that movie role, as 13 days later I was standing 60 m out, in the middle of the 10th fairway (my 18th) at Rondebosch, on 1 over, needing only a par for 40 points. Predictably, I went chunk, chunk, putt, putt, putt for a 38. Fortunately Flippie joined me (and the Protea men) in the chokers club by butchering a looming PB at Huddle Park with an absolute shit show of an 18th.

Also in April, Will submitted his 43rd 40 pointer of this year’s FEC.

So, finally here we are, at the dawn of GI 23 and the final round shootout. Estian is mighty relieved the change in eligibility criteria has prevented Taylor Gooch, the current master of 54 hole, no cut, invitation tournaments, from teeing it up tomorrow to challenge his title defence. Looks like we’ll have to rely on Will, and my personal dark horse Siael (the Pezula front 9 version, not the back 9 doos), to try and wipe the smug smile off his face (let’s see you pose with zero trophies - never too soon to start the TPC mental disintegration).

As it’s almost bed time, here are the final league standings:

1. Gert - 237 (R500)

2. Will - 235 (R300)

3. Estian - 233 (R200)

4. Thomas - 229 (R0 😂)

5. Stix - 227

6. Duane - 226

7. Stephen - 225

7. Flippie - 225

9. Siael - 221

10. Andrew G - 219

11. Lood - 217

11. Rob - 217

13. Paddy - 216

14. Keith - 214

15. Ross - 211

16. LJ - 207

17. Damian - 205 (I played Leopard Creek)

18. Andrew “Ogletree” Berry - 185 (sometimes shit just writes itself)

Pierre, Gordon, Craig and Reghardt need to play more golf (just saying).

There is an additional R300 prize for highest points in tomorrow’s final round, after which the log will be updated and final prize money allocated to:

1st - R1000

2nd - R600

3rd - R400

4th - R200

And finally, after listening to a hour of “the FEC format is so kak and it makes golf less fun all year round and the there shouldn’t be so much prize money and Will plays too much golf and why isn’t there a live leaderboard and Rob writes shit” there will be major (and exciting) changes to the format for next year.

Sadly though, Rob will continue to write shit…

Good luck for tomorrow!

Rob